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  • Archive for October, 2011

    A Funny Post

    2011 - 10.30

    I have been trying to figure out what I wanted to blog about this week, and I decided that I would blog about funny stuff. People like funny stuff, especially if it involves the epic fails of other people. I don’t know why we find other people’s misfortunes hilarious, but for some reason it is as long as people aren’t seriously hurt or as long as the misfortune does not involve us. I paid a visit to failblog.org to give you some good epic fails to chuckle at this week. The site is updated daily and is the perfect place to go when you need a good laugh. Also, don’t forget to check out my Prose section to read the first two chapters of Mirror, Mirror and check out the new additions to my Poetry section.

    10. Driver’s Test Fail – Wow, what the hell? And I thought it was bad that I failed my driver’s test just from running over a very small curb when the stupid examiner made me do a turn about in a very narrow drive. This definitely takes the cake.
    epic fail photos - Probably Bad News: It's Safe To Say She Didn't Pass

    9. The Dark Mark – Only a true Harry Potter fan can appreciate this epic WIN.
    epic win photos - Dark Mark WIN

    8. Literacy Fail – This is what happens when you cut funding from education. Alternatively, this is what happens when people rely too much on spell check.
    epic fail photos - Showing Off Your "Literacy FAIL"

    7. Wrong Law – I saw this and I busted out laughing. I mean seriously, college teachers really get those kinds of answers? Well, the student may have lost 10 points on the test but I’d give at least 2 for not leaving the question blank and making me laugh.
    epic fail photos - CLASSIC: The First Law Learned in College

    6. Tragic Tattoo – Talk about a Hamlet tribute gone wrong. Worse yet is that there is no auto correct on your flesh!
    Hamlet Looks Like a Small Tragedy in Comparison

    5. Showing off Your Moves – Is that a person or a drunk monkey in a human suit? Either way, I think the dummy wins (not the human dummy, obviously).
    epic fail photos - Showing Off Your Sweet Moves FAIL

    4. Auto-Correct Disaster – The biggest complaint that iPhone owners have is the auto-correct feature on their phone which can get pretty dang annoying — and embarrassing. I agree with Otto here; it is painful watching this guy struggle.
    mobile phone texting autocorrect - Too Late, We Have to Bang Now

    3. Bad Puns Involving Countries – I can’t resist. I’m a glutton for bad puns.
    mobile phone texting autocorrect - I Only Need Enough to Thaid Me Over

    2. Just Leave a Note — This is the best idea ever! Next time you get aggravated at some dummy that can’t park, just leave this note on the windshield — or some other smart aleck remark of your choosing.

    1. Epic Laziness – Come on. Really?! Trolling through the drive-thru in an electric wheelchair? No wonder foreigners think Americans are fat and lazy.
    epic fail photos - Drive Thru FAIL


    Six Places I’d Love to Visit

    2011 - 10.23

    I have been in the construction stage of this site for a week straight, and I have to say that I am very happy with how my site has turned out. Jesse helped put in a Home button, I added an RSS feed, and I am now a member of Google+, which is basically like Google’s version of Facebook, and I highly recommend it, particularly for the privacy settings. New poems have been added to the Poetry section and new articles have been uploaded under Articles. I am reviewing a short story of mine for posting here under the Prose tab, and I am also reviewing Mirror, Mirror for uploading — all 32 chapters.

    I was talking with my friend Mariana on MSN last night, and she was having some trouble deciding what to post for her blog that she has to do for her English class, so I suggested that she talk about places that she would most like to visit. I thought that was a great idea, so I decided to make a post of my own.

    6. Austria — Judging from the thumbnail, how can you not want to go? Austria is a common skiing destination, but it also harbors a deeply rooted history in the arts, specifically music. Once part of the Prussian Empire, Austria is the birthplace of composer Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart (he was born in Salzburg) and actor Arnold Schwarzenegger. The country’s capital is Vienna, the City of Music, and many of the world’s greatest composers lived, worked, and were laid to rest in Vienna, notably Ludwig van Beethoven, Joseph Hayden, Johann Sebastian Bach, and many others. Romantic period composer Beethoven was known for venturing out into the beautiful, rolling Austrian countryside, which is where he drew his inspiration for his Sixth Symphony (Pastoral) and remains one of my all time favorite musical pieces.*image borrowed from thetravelpeach.com

    5. Germany — I come from very strong German roots, so it should come as no surprise that Germany appears on my list. I love German food (except blood sausage) and German Riesling, and I have always wanted to see a Bavarian castle such as Neuschwanstein Castle (pictured on the left). Germany is bordered by Austria, so the cultures are not that different from each other. Germany is probably most noted for Oktoberfest held in Munich from the last week of September through the first weekend in October. Only beer brewed in Munich is allowed to be served, and one can enjoy the traditional foods offered at this popular event — in addition to guzzling several flagons of beer. *image borrowed from Neuschwanstein website.


    4. India — I love Indian culture. The food, clothing, the people, the religion — India just fascinates me. While India is the second most populated country in the world, they have a rich history and a rich culture, and I’ve met some pretty nice Indian people here in the U.S. Notable places of interest include the Taj Mahal (shown at left), Mumbai (formerly Bombay), Darjeeling, and New Dehli.*image borrowed from pbs.org




    3. China — Of all the cultures in the world, I would have to say that Oriental culture is the one I am most drawn to. China is one of the top places I would like to visit because of the breathtaking beauty and architecture the country has to offer. The Chinese revere beauty and tradition, and their history and culture is rich. China is home to the only man made structure visible from outer space, the Great Wall of China, originally built beginning in the 5th century B.C. and maintained through the 16th century on the northern border of the Chinese empire to keep out invading nomadic tribes. Shown at the left is the Forbidden City located in Beijing, which was once the home of the Ming and Qing Dynasties and the political center of China until 1912. One day, I hope to see the Forbidden City myself. *image borrowed from ChinaHighlights.com


    2. Italy — The food, the art, the architecture; so many things to see, do and eat and so little time. Italy is deeply rooted in history being the location of the vast Roman empire, hence why its capital is Rome. All over Italy a traveler can find ancient architecture such as the mighty coliseum in Rome where ancient Roman gladiators would fight and the ancient city of Pompeii. Rich paintings by Michelangelo decorate the Sistine Chapel in Florence, and Vatican City is where Pope Benedict XVI resides. Oh, and we can’t forget that Leonardo daVinci once roamed the streets of Florence. And the food. I love Italian food. I have German roots, but I am beginning to wonder if I have some Italian somewhere in me. My brother and his family lived in Italy for four years, and he told me that Italian food there is nothing like it is here. Eating my way across the country sounds like a great plan to me! *image borrowed from destination360.com.

    1. Japan — The place I most want to visit, and I want to go everywhere in Japan. The Japanese are a little like the Chinese in a sense that they value tradition and beauty. Their primary religions are Shinto and Buddhism, and they have several festivals throughout the year, most of them dedicated to nature. The most widely known festival is the Cherry Blossom Festival in which the Japanese usher in Spring after the long winter. Although the Japanese are very much Westernized, they still hold fast to deeply rooted traditions such as wearing kimono (or yukata if it is summer) for festivals and other special occasions. The ancient architecture is nothing short of majestic, as you can see from the picture of the Osaka Castle at the left. Their myths, folklore and legends are fascinating, their traditional art is amazing, and the food is good. If I ever go to Japan, I may never come back. *image borrowed from japanguidebook.com





    10 Random Things About Me

    2011 - 10.18

    The site is coming out quite nicely. Jesse pointed out that I really need a ‘Home’ tab so people don’t have to click the ‘Lexeme Sketches’ to return to the main page. That will be coming as soon as I figure out how to put in the code to make the tab happen. I have also added an ‘Illustrations’ tab for artwork people have given me, and I put in an illustration by my friend and colleague Charles Gearhart that he did for my story Mirror, Mirror. I now have to figure out how to subdivide the tabs to where I can separate my stories and articles when I post them because I am strongly considering putting my Pirates of the Caribbean fan fiction Mirror, Mirror on here. The problem is that it’s 32 chapters long, so I have to figure out how to post 32 chapters on one page. LOL — wow, what a chore that will be if I figure it out.

    For now, I would like to post 10 Random Things About Me:

    10. Mariah Carey — I’m not sure why, but I have always been such a fan of hers. I stopped listening to her stuff after the album Rainbow because she really took a heavy R&B and rap route (I’m not really into that), but her voice is truly amazing and soulful, and some of her songs really strike a personal chord with me. What’s surprising to know is that she was bullied and felt out of place when she was young, and that’s how I felt all the time when I was young. I think her songs “Outside” and “Close My Eyes” were the songs that spoke to me the most at that age. Although I mostly listen to rock and oldies, sometimes I put on one of her albums when I’m in the mood for her.

    9. Pickled Beets — Mom, hide the jar! When I was a kid I used to pile pickled beets so much on my plate that my mother used to have to take the jar off the table so I would eat something else on the table! They’re just so full of Vitamin A goodness that I can’t help but to eat a whole jar by myself. Eat carefully, though — they stain!




    8. Anime — I can’t help putting in something about my obsession with anime. No they are not your typical ‘cartoons’! Anime is totally different from American cartoons in a sense that A. anime is not all slapstick comedy like Bugs Bunny, B. anime comes out in episodes that usually run in a continuing plot line, and C. the characters are well-developed. I think the longest anime I have ever watched was Rurouni Kenshin and Bleach (which is still running after 300+ episodes). My first anime fandoms were Sailor Moon and Lupin the Third, and I just kind of branched out from there. My friend Jimmy recommended Neon Genesis Evangelion and Blue Seed; Jocelyn got me started on Bleach, and I have recently become a huge fan of Tiger & Bunny (shown left), thanks to my friend Mariana, and Axis Powers Hetalia. I have attended Anime St. Louis for the past two years and cosplayed Bleach, though this year I think I really want to go as Rufus Shinra from Final Fantasy 7.

    7. Star Trek — Want to know how nerdy I really am? I’m a Trekkie. If asked the question, “Kirk or Picard?” I’d answer Picard in a heartbeat (because Patrick Stewart is just awesome), though there is something to be said for Jonathan Archer (Scott Bakula) from Star Trek: Enterprise. I have seen every episode of every Star Trek series, even The Original Series (TOS), and of all the series, my favorites are probably Star Trek: The Next Generation and Star Trek: Enterprise (I so hated when this one ended). Of the movies, my favorite movie with TOS cast was probably The Wrath of Kahn and my favorite Next Gen movie was First Contact. The new Star Trek movie was pretty awesome visually, but the plot line just didn’t do it for me. For one, there’s two Spocks now. Two Spocks. In the same timeline. Generally when there’s an alternate timeline involved, one of the characters goes back to his rightful time, but this was not the case. Oh, and Vulcan was destroyed. Destroyed. Obliterated. Wiped off the face of stellar cartography.

    6. Lady GaGa — Huge fan. She’s kooky, her outfits are downright strange, and she never wears pants, but you know what I love about her? She’s perfectly comfortable with being her weird self, and I like weird. Her actual name is Stefani Germanotti, and she grew up in an Italian family and attended a Catholic school in New York. Most surprising fact? She was bullied, even though she looked perfectly normal before she was famous. She  is often compared with Madonna because she is so controversial and risque, but you know what? So was Elvis Presley when he came out on the Ed Sullivan Show rocking his hips. I think she has a great attitude, and I respect her creativity, even if it is ‘strange’. Plus, she plays her own instrument — the piano — and she writes her own songs.

    5. Soft Things — I love soft things. Blankets, comforters, pajamas, beds, you name it. In fact, I love soft things so much that I often have a difficult time getting up in the morning (aside from the fact that I am not a morning person) because I am wrapped in the comfort and warmth of soft blankets and pillows. Not to mention my pajama bottoms that are flannel, cotton socks (I hate sleeping without socks because my feet are always cold), and a loose t-shirt. Who wants to leave all of that?

    4. The Beatles — I could not resist. I have been a huge fan of the Fab Four since I was in fifth grade. How did I get into their music? Well, my parents grew up in the 50s and 60s, and they accumulated a bit of a record collection. Mom used to play an oldies station while she cleaned the house on Saturdays, and I really enjoyed the music. In fact, I listened to little else growing up other than ‘oldies’ and classical music. Mom and Dad always were pretty open toward music, though not as much toward my older brother’s blaring Motley Crue (which I loved), and I always had an open mind toward music, too. I was exploring their generation of music when I discovered an album among their collection titled The Beatles: 1962-1966 in their record cabinet (that’s LP to you young whippersnappers) that had all their best hits from when they first started in 1962 to around the middle of their career in 1966. I was enthralled by their music. In one double LP album, I could audibly trace how much their music changed from the start of their career. Such innovation! They were not afraid to experiment with new sounds and ideas. Since then I couldn’t get enough of them. Beatlemania overtook me and I was soon digging through dusty boxes full of old, obsolete albums thrown into the most remote corners of antique shops and raiding what few record shops were left; I collected any kind of memorabilia I could get my hands on that my allowance would let me buy. I loved the Fab Four so much that I even endured some pretty horrible teasing at the hands of my peers for my ‘unique’ obsession. Ten years after high school, I am still remembered as ‘the resident Beatles fan’.

    3. 1956 Bel Air — I would love to own one of these someday. This should come as no surprise considering my love for retro things. Of course, I would have to fight my parents over it since they owned one when they were first married. Unfortunately my dad had to sell it. According to my parents, their red-and-white 1956 Bel Air was a damn good car and it was almost like a tank because cars were much better quality back them. My opinion: just effing gorgeous. Most girls dream of driving dinky little sports cars — not me. This is the car I would love to get my hands on.

    2. Airplanes — I want to learn to fly. My first plane ride actually happened when I was a kid, I think around 8 years old. My dad and I went out to the airport back in my hometown to eat at a pancake breakfast where some volunteer instructors, private pilots, and student pilots were promoting the flight school. Dad figured that I should experience flight at least once in my life because we never flew anywhere for family trips; we always drove. I remember we went up in a Piper Cub and I thought it was so cool to see the world from a bird’s eye view. Dad has always wanted to learn to fly, and thanks to that trip, I formed an interest in it as well. Little did either of us know at the time that I would actually (and ironically) marry a pilot and get lots of chances to fly. Thanks to a few flying lessons with Jesse, I am now the world’s worst at begging for airplane rides any time he can provide them. In the span of 7 years of marriage, I have flown to Florida, Colorado, and various places across the Midwest. But Florida and Colorado — those were by far the two coolest trips we ever got to take. Flying over Kansas, however, is much like driving across it — a whole lot of nothing for miles, although the Cessna Aircraft Factory is in Wichita.

    1. Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes — probably one of the best books I have ever read. It was introduced to me by my high school English teacher Mrs. Bugg near the end of my junior year as the book of choice for the novel unit. The book is told in a series of progress reports by Charlie, the first human test subject for a surgery to increase his intelligence by artificial means. Algernon is the name of the lab rat who underwent the same surgery and appears throughout the story as a parallel to Charlie. The book touches upon many moral and ethical themes, including the treatment of the mentally disabled. My teacher used to make us read only one chapter at a time and then complete a worksheet for each chapter, but I wound up finishing the book two weeks early; it was that good. My teacher started to lecture me about how I didn’t follow directions, but I had to explain that I couldn’t put it down because I just had to find out what would become of Charlie — I had made a prediction about his fate, and I was dreadfully curious to see whether I was right. Mrs. Bugg couldn’t stay upset about that, and at the end of the unit, she let me keep my copy of the book. And yes, I still have it.